An important topic not only for us surviving with PTSD but for our friends and family that have to put up with us, Social Interactions. When I mention social interactions, I’m talking about how we not only build relationships with people, if any, but how we maintain those relationships. Here is what I mean, do you every see or hear your phone ringing, you know who it is but, you just don’t answer the phone? Ever get invited to a party, you want to go but, you just don’t have it in you? I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one. How about the phone? I tell people all the time, text me. For some reason I can’t bring myself to answer the phone regardless of who it is most of the time, including friends. If someone text me, I can take that time to decide what I want to reply with or more importantly if I want to reply. I recently retired for good just a few months ago for this very reason. I was working private security as a bodyguard and obviously I needed to talk to people and was having trouble doing it but to even get the jobs, I had to answer the phone. I struggled with this for almost two years before I decided I needed to retire. I have some good friends I have made over the years but I have a hard time maintaining those relationships. Constantly I am invited to people homes, or to go out and do thing but, unless I know you really well, it is almost impossible for me to go about it. Even if I know you pretty well, I still have a very hard time to take that leap and meet you outside of a public place. Sometimes I think it is harder to socially engage with people I know compared to not knowing them. I can walk into a store and communicate with a cashier who is a stranger better than I can walk into a store and talk to a cashier that is someone I know.
Hard to maintain relationships
We see so many homeless veterans and of course we want to help them but what help do they need. Do they need a place to live? Maybe, or do they need some help with dealing with PTSD or some type of social anxiety disorder? I tell people all the time, if it wasn’t for the support and the love for my wife, I more than likely would be homeless as well. Not because financially I can’t survive but, because sometimes, most of the time, I think I would just rather be living out of my truck in the mountains where my best friend could be my dog who accepts me for whoever and whatever I am. Do I want human friends? Of course, I do, is it easy? Absolutely not. Many people would consider this just crazy, well, we already established that I’m crazy so who cares right? How do you communicate this to the people you consider friends? Sure, the typical way would be to just tell them. Is it really that easy?
What is a Traumatic Event?
Some would call this Social Anxiety or some other type of Social Disorder. So, what really is PTSD? A Disorder that is combined of multiple disorders? I guess so. The big question is, how do we overcome this and can we? DSM-5 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders says that there is a difference between PTSD and Social Phobia. People with PTSD feel unsafe in the world, and they isolate in order to reduce the size of the world and create a more manageable environment. If we take that into consideration, which I did and I thought long and hard about it, this makes a lot of sense, I think. Perhaps I am just trying to make my life more manageable. Don’t answer the phone because I don’t know who the person is or, what they want. I want to do it on my terms, so text. I didn’t go to the party because I did not know many of the people and perhaps, I would not be able to be in control. I guess when we experienced the traumatic event, or multiple traumatic events, we lost control somehow, or felt out of control. When a Vehicle Borne Improvised Explosive Device, commonly known as a car bomb, explodes downtown when you least expect it killing multiple civilians, including children, you just wish that there was something you could do to prevent it, or control it. It seems like such a simple thing to fix. Of course, I couldn’t stop it, of course there was no way I would have been able to predict it and clear the area of children, so why, why do we continue to feel the guilt of not being able to control that situation or that environment? Could it be that most of the time I was in charge? Could it be that It was my responsibility to ensure everyone’s safety? This is an interesting theory because many would think PTSD is cause by an event that basically scared the crap out of you. I know in the military way before we began to understand PTSD, this is what most thought. I think this is why PTSD is very taboo to some and not publicly spoken about. The fear of being ridiculed because they “were scared”. Some experts still describe the cause of PTSD by being involved or witnessing a horrifying event. Does that mean it scared you, I don’t think so? I believe many people surviving with PTSD need to understand that a horrifying event doesn’t necessarily mean you are weak or scared, a horrifying event is just something that it completely un-normal to everyday life. For example, showing up to conduct a post-blast investigation on an attack involving multiple Car Bombs and Suicide Bombers that took place downtown in the early morning hours. Something that looks like a Hollywood scene of blood, gore, and charred bodies. I guess I would say that is something kind of horrifying don’t you think.
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About the author
Keith served in the U.S. Army for over 22 years. With multiple Combat Deployments, he learned all to much about the “Invisible Wounds” that many suffer with. Diagnosed with Severe PTSD, Keith has become an advocate for Mental Health and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Through writing and public speaking he heals as he helps others heal. He is the Founder of Cars4Awareness, Inc. and the CEO of Old Sarge Company, LLC.
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