Surviving PTSD and the Holidays

The holiday spirit is a special time of year for most people around the world. Many use this time of year to not only celebrate but to connect with family, friends, and other loved ones. Some use this time to reflect on the past year. Regardless of what you celebrate or why you celebrate, it typically includes decorations, parties, delicious foods, gifts, and time with friends and family. I believe the primary reason this time of year is important because it allows people to take time away from the usual hustle and spend time with family and friends while strengthening relationships and creating memories. However, for those struggling with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, this time of year is different. Let’s discuss a few things on how to survive the holiday season with PTSD.

How PTSD affects our holidays

For those of us who struggle with PTSD or related challenges, such as depression, anxiety, phobias, etc. We have a hard time adjusting to all this. These holiday festivities can cause us to experience PTSD-related symptoms such as being overstimulated, depressed, or mired in anxiety. Many of us have the inability to “fit in”. Social anxiety takes over and we just feel out of place. With PTSD we always live on edge, we continue to relive the trauma. We also may feel shame or guilt, perhaps a lack of self-worth.

On a typical day, we work hard to cope with our discomfort when interacting with people. During the holidays this challenge is much harder. No matter how much we want you, our family, friends, and loved ones to understand, it is almost impossible for us to explain this. Many of them talk to us as if we are the same when in reality it is eating us up inside because we are not the same, we are not feeling or thinking the same as you. In reality, we are trying hard to put on the front. We put on our smile that morning and dress it up with that rehearsed laugh.

Sometimes that curious question is the wrong question

Many want to ask that question about our experiences. Please don’t. Most do not want to share their experiences. Sharing our experiences with you can actually trigger our PTSD symptoms. Not being able to talk about and explaining why we are having such a difficult time puts us even more on edge.

Here are some tips on how you can deal with the holidays.

• Be aware of your triggers
• Set boundaries
• Don’t try to please others
• Don’t over commit yourself
• Limit alcohol intake
• Be aware of your body’s warning signals
• Reach out for professional support

Be aware of your triggers

Triggers can include sights, sounds, smells, or thoughts that remind you of the traumatic event. Silly as this may sound, but the smells from certain baked or cooked foods can be a trigger, or even the sounds of some holiday music.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is a good way to feel safer in situations where triggers may arise. It is important to express your needs clearly to others so that people know how to best support you.

Don’t try to please others

Believe it or not, a symptom that many have of PTSD is the desire to people please, also known as fawning. Some develop this as a coping mechanism to avoid conflict, pacify, and create a sense of safety.

Don’t over commit yourself

Know ahead of time what you want to be committed to and how much time you wish to commit. You have enough stress to manage on a daily basis and you surely do not need much more. When thinking about giving gifts, wrapping gifts, what parties to attend, what to bring to these parties, etc. This can and will easily become overwhelming very fast. Set those boundaries, remain flexible, and only do what you really can do.

Limit alcohol

We all know what alcohol does to ourselves. Alcohol only enhances your PTSD symptoms. To much alcohol will make it harder to cope with the stress and the memories.

Beware of your body’s warning signals

Many of us experience physical symptoms similar to symptoms of anxiety. Headaches, dizziness, chest pains, and stomach aches are just a few of the symptoms you may develop. Know your body and know how to react to these symptoms.

Reach out for professional support

As always, do not be scared to reach out for professional help. You are not alone and there are plenty of resources out there to assist you during your time of struggle. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day. Dial 988 if you are in need of assistance.

We can get through this together

Although we struggle, we must still find the courage and strength to get our there. We can do this in moderation. Remember, a family gathering doesn’t have to be 100 people. Maybe begin with a smaller gathering. Maybe shorten your time at the gathering. Whatever it is you decide, try to get out this year. To all the family and friends, don’t ignore or neglect the fact that we struggle. Don’t make jokes about it either. Just because we laugh, does not mean we are really laughing. Lastly, don’t give up. To the family and friends, we need your support more than anything. Invite us and continue to invite us. We may turn down the invite, so don’t get offended. It’s not that we don’t want to go, we just might not be ready.